The Inspiration: A Disappeared Conversation

Dr. Abramowitz, a fellow artist, singer, painter, and ( per Marja West – an”extraordinary human being”,)explained that his interest in the intersection of medicine, biology, and human sexuality began in his youth (including reading Forum magazine found in his father’s study around age 11) and deepened through his extensive involvement in men’s work and Consciousness movements.

He observed that while men were seeking emotional literacy and purpose, a significant conversation around how they become sexual and its impact on our executive functioning and our  ability to evolve in relationships was missing. He felt that the concept of becoming “sexed” held a profound power over men, which was often reduced to a comedic or toxic caricature, the term “hardwired for sex”.

His book was created as a map and a map of understanding , to help men, and the women who love men, and therapists unbundle this conversation,which integrates Western Sexology  research and i Eastern teachings  (Pure Tantra, which Marja and Paul studied together with Dr Shakti)Malan .  

The Predicament of the “Men in the Middle”

The book is aimed at the “men in the middle of the bell curve”, those who aren’t perpetrators or seeking help for specific dysfunctions (like erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation), but who need a structured understanding of how their sexuality impacts their Persona, executive functioning, and relationships.

Dr. Abramowitz structured the book as a Trilogy to organize this complex topic:

• Part One: The Predicament: Identifying the problem (predominantly heterosexual male sexuality) and preparing a “landing strip” for the reader to avoid cognitive dissonance.

• Part Two: The Design: Deeply examining the reproductive biological intelligence (starting at seven weeks in utero) and its potential to “hijack” the male brain. This section introduces the six meta-themes that constitute our emotional sexual hard wirings (or “soft wirings” that can be changed): the home environment, meeting the urge, secrecy, self-discipline/self-control, vulnerability, and shame and guilt.

• Part Three: The Choice Bridge: Actioning the solution to move out of the “adolescent male sex brain” and into an “activated man”, a man who intentionally moves into a new way of being.

From Entertainment to Transformation

The goal of this work is to raise a man’s “sexual intimacy quotient” and move sexual expression across the spectrum from mere entertainment into the transformational sphere.

• The Power of Choice: The subtitle, Hardwired by Nature, Evolving by Choice, encapsulates the core message: that while biological hardwiring (which is difficult to change) dictates certain drives, men have the choice to manage the emotional patterns and become the “driver of the drive instead of being driven by an unseen force”.

• The Redemptive Process: Understanding the biological mechanism behind the powerful drive offers a “lightening of the load” for men grappling with self-judgment, shame, and guilt. This understanding facilitates a Redemptive process leading to a spiral understanding of self rather than a “mundane same same loop”.

The Challenge of Translation and Reception

Dr. Abramowitz acknowledged the immense challenge of writing the book, which involved a multi-year editing process with two highly committed editors to ensure the complexity of biology was translated into language that was digestible, absorbable, and understandable.

He noted that, initially, women who love men were the “fire starters” in picking up the book, driven by a desire to understand the deeper aspects of the heterosexual male. Gradually, men and therapists followed, especially those who had already raised their awareness through mindfulness but found their “sexual Consciousness is somewhere down here”.

He remains hopeful, emphasizing that the work requires humility and courage to break the “very very long cycle” of silence and blame and shame surrounding sexuality. The objective is to cultivate a culture of curiosity and move away from the “fast food relationship way of being” toward a “profoundly birthed and kind generative and sustainable way of being”.